Ten lessons I've learned at 34

Originally published in Manila Bulletin

At 34, I’m preparing for my graduation. I’ve just finished ironing my gown for the ceremony, and I find myself reflecting on the long road that brought me here.

I was born with a speech defect. Until Grade 5, I had an English tutor to help me find and strengthen my voice. The fact that I now write a biweekly column for Manila Bulletin feels, in many ways, like a quiet miracle. But it’s also a testament to what I’ve seen firsthand: the transformative power of education. This is why I believe in it—not just as a system, but as a lifeline.

In 2023, I made the difficult decision to leave the Philippines and pursue a Master’s in Cities at the London School of Economics. When I arrived, I found myself in a university of remarkable people—scientists, researchers, policy leaders—many of whom had already made major contributions to the world. I didn’t have a clear answer to the question, “What do you want to do with your life?” But two years later, I’ve come to know myself more deeply than ever before.

Before I cross the stage, I’d like to share 10 lessons I’ve learned at 34:

1. It’s never too late to shift.

You are not too late. If you feel the urge to start again, listen to it. Reclaim your story. This is your life—don’t live it boxed in by other people’s expectations.

2. Keep your accent.

If someone mocks your accent, remind them: they have one too. We are not chameleons. Our languages and voices carry memory, culture, and identity. We shouldn’t have to erase them to belong.

3. Filipinos must write the story of the Philippines.

Too often, our history is told by others. We must write it ourselves—with our own language, context, and complexity. We deserve to be the authors of our narrative.

4. Name your fear.

You can only face what you’re willing to name. I worry about AI taking over meaningful work. That’s why I speak about AI equity. Fear can fuel action, if we let it.

5. Discipline means saying “no.”

A mentor told me, “You have to start saying no to many things because you already said yes to this.” Focus is a form of respect—for your time, your energy, and your goals.

6. Curiosity is stronger than comparison.

In a room full of brilliant people, comparison silences you. Curiosity opens you up. Ask how. Ask why. Learn instead of shrinking.

7. You are more than what you produce.

Your worth is not measured by output. Some days, rest is the most productive thing you can do. It is not laziness. It is survival.

8. Travel as much as you can.

The world is not homogenous. Words like “freedom,” “home,” and “respect” mean different things in different cultures. Travel reshapes you. It humbles you. It teaches you that your worldview is just one of many.

9. Community is everything.

Find people who bring out your best self. If the community you’re in no longer feels right, leave. There are 8.2 billion people in the world—you will find your circle.

10. You don’t need all the answers to move forward.

I used to fear the unknown. Now it excites me. No amount of planning can stop life from surprising you. What you need is a framework—your values, tools, people—that helps you respond to the unexpected with grace and grit.

From the child who struggled to speak

I used to think graduation was a finish line. But now I see it as a pause—a moment to take a breath and say thank you. To the teachers who were patient with a child who struggled to speak. To the mentors, family, and friends who believed in me, even when I doubted myself.

To anyone reading this who feels late or uncertain: you are not alone. Growth isn’t always visible. But if you’re choosing learning—at any age—you are already moving forward.

And sometimes, that’s more than enough.

This opinion column is published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License (CC BY 4.0). You are free to share, adapt, and redistribute this content, provided appropriate credit is given to the author and original source.